DIFFERENT SPEEDS

Hearts and guts. They make up the meat of who we are. They are the navigators of our soul. There’s a strong connection between our heart and our gut feelings. Together, their ultimate goal is to bring forth who we really are. Helping them is our mind. When our heart and mind are in harmony with each other, we feel good. Our actions match what our heart is feeling and it’s as if we’re doing what we’re meant to be doing.

I’ve learned over the years that our heart and mind can operate at vastly different speeds. That is to say, sometimes what we’re thinking and what we’re feeling seem to be coming from two entirely different planets. We’ve all experienced this. We do something because it makes sense logically but our heart isn’t in it. Our mind is happy that we’re listening to it but our heart isn’t happy. On the other hand, we may pursue our heart’s desire despite the common sense counter-argument going on in our mind. There’s a sense of apprehension in our thinking (aka our mind) when we do this, but overall, we feel good when we follow our heart. When it comes to gut feelings, they can override what our minds are saying and they’re often right.

I currently find myself in a situation where I’m following the reasonings of my mind and not the longings of my heart. Despite my best intentions, despite the most logical arguments with myself in which I win in favor of my mind, my heart is struggling to follow suit. In truth, it feels like the lights have gone out in my heart. Even though it’s a struggle right now, I know this is only temporary. With patience and time, my heart will be up to speed again. Looking around to find what is good in each present moment has helped a lot. Staying open and being aware of anything that brings even the tiniest hint of joy is something I’ve always known in my head, but maybe it’s finally translating to my heart. (Now that’s another take on the way our hearts and minds work at different speeds.) Maybe that’s the lesson – slowing down to realize what joy can look like.

I’ve often heard that we need to listen to our heart because it’s telling us where our joy lies. I know this is true. But sometimes, in order to truly free our heart, we need to take the more uncomfortable road of our mind for a little while. Excuse my language, but this can suck big time. Don’t give up. Always keep the bigger picture in mind.

We’re very complicated creatures. We can be at odds within ourselves in ways we never imagined. Our hearts and minds are our driving forces and when they don’t agree with each other, we get thrown off balance. Striving to regain our balance is how we grow. Hang in there. 

SACRED PLACES

Sometimes life doesn’t turn out how we thought it would.

Sometimes curve balls get thrown at us and we jump so far to get out of the way we lose our place in the world.

Sometimes we deliberately step off the path we’re traveling on for the sake of others, not realizing how far off the path we’ll be going.

Sometimes these unexpected detours start to empty us inside.

We become numb.

We hide in a dark empty place to avoid sadness and pain.

We hide here to survive.

This dark place, this empty place, is really a sacred place.

In its emptiness, in its void, we can choose to plant sacred seeds

And our tears will water them.

These sacred seeds have names like acceptance,

Determination, gratitude and compassion.

If we allow them to grow,

If we allow them to fill the boundaries of who we are

And beyond,

We allow sacredness to be our breath.

We allow transformation to occur

In our souls.

This is the miracle.

Sometimes life doesn’t turn out how we thought it would.

Sometimes I wonder if this was the plan all along.

*May we keep the victims and families of the tragedy in Aurora, Colorado in our thoughts and prayers.

MY ‘PLACE OF PEACE’

I have a special place in my heart that I call my ‘Place of Peace’. It’s been with me for years. I must have pictured it a million times. It’s where I go when my world is full of commotion and my brain is on overdrive. I find peace and solace here, hence its name, ‘Place of Peace’.

I’d like to take you there now. Close your eyes and imagine you’re standing under tall shady trees. Sunshine peeks through the branches casting lazy shadows at your feet. Walking paths meander here and there around corners of hills and dales and the soothing sound of falling water comes from a gurgling brook nearby. Wildflowers peek out from behind rocks and bushes and the sights and sounds of little living creatures are everywhere. There’s a house here, very Zen-like, with white curving arches, old wooden beams, tucked away nooks, and lots of room for invited guests. Connected to this house by a crooked stone path is a structure composed of one long rectangular room. I like to think of it as a special place for the soul where one can meditate, contemplate, gather to celebrate, create, rest, relax, anything you want. One of its walls is made entirely of glass allowing the beauty of nature to remain with you even while inside. Its opposite wall slides open to a veranda, perfect for cloud watching, daydreaming, or moon gazing.

It’s been my hope to have such a ‘Place of Peace’ in real life. One of the main reasons is that I want people to be able to go to a place where they can calm their minds, experience serenity, connect with themselves again, and take peace home with them when they leave.

I’ve held this dream in my heart for a long time but I came to a realization a little while ago. I realized that I don’t need to manifest it in the real word - I can be my own ‘Place of Peace’. I’ve already created it inside of me. I’ve been carrying it with me wherever I go, experiencing its magic all along.

As for the main reason for my ‘Place of Peace’, I can do that, too. I can try to be a ‘Place of Peace’ for others. I can give them peace and leave them with peace in the way I interact with them. There’s a quote by Mother Teresa that says, “Let no one ever come to you without leaving better and happier. Be the living expression of God’s kindness: kindness in your face, kindness in your eyes, kindness in your smile.”  Kindness is a part of many things – listening, giving, receiving, having patience, showing compassion, to name a few. Kindness leads to peace and vice versa. In being these things with other people, I can make myself a ‘Place of Peace’ for them, or at least try to be. Of course, some people are easier to try with than others. It’s a learning process and a work in progress.

So my friends, what does peace mean to you? What does it look like? What does it feel like? Is it something you share? Are you acquainted with it? Remember, you’re always welcome to join me in my ‘Place of Peace’.

(As an aside, Japan has a special festival in honor of moon gazing called Otsukimi occurring every September.  I love the moon. Have you ever stopped to look out upon a moonlit night? Cloaked in ethereal blue moonbeams, the earth takes on a quiet stillness and mysteriousness not seen by the light of day. There’s a hushed tone to the air. It’s all very serene and soothing to the soul.)

SPREADING JOY

Random acts of kindness - they’re so great and wonderful. I love doing them. There’s a soul satisfying element to them. It’s like giving the gift of joy to others and ultimately, the gift of joy to oneself. For me, the best part of a random act of kindness is its unexpected nature. Recipients aren’t expecting the kindnesses bestowed upon them and this makes it all the more sweeter.

When I was 13 years old, I called the Jerry Lewis Muscular Dystrophy Telethon to donate some of my own money to their cause. I remember feeling so good and proud about donating. I felt like I was doing something really worthy. It was a way of helping people and making the world a little better. It continued to paying tolls for people behind me at toll bridges and handing out dollars to the homeless guy at the gas station. It was so satisfying to watch that man take my dollars and walk into McDonald’s to buy himself a hamburger and coffee. This inspired my skeptical dad to want to give, too. When my kids were younger, I’d make baskets filled with goodies and they’d help me leave them on doorsteps, ring the doorbell, and run away. We’d watch from behind a bush as the recipients of our baskets opened their doors to find the surprise waiting for them. Sometimes, when a salesperson has been especially helpful, I’ll ask for their supervisor. Their look of worry and dread turns into bashful smiles when I tell their supervisor what a great employee they have. So many people are quick to complain yet so few of us are willing to stop to praise and acknowledge those who deserve it. Try it sometime. You’ll feel great and so will they.

It feels good to give – words, deeds, unexpected gifts, even something as simple as a smile. Random acts of kindness spread joy and our world can use all the joy we can provide. In receiving random acts of kindness, people’s hearts are given a lift which adds a little spring to their step. It might even inspire them to pass on random acts of kindness, then more hearts will be lifted, more steps will be springy. Can you see the possibilities? Think about spreading joy in your little corner of the world. You’ll be uplifting others and feel uplifted yourself. I guarantee it.

FIREFLIES AND FROGS

The fireflies are out again. Last night I watched them from my deck. The air was silent and the darkness so still which made the beauty of the fireflies all the more brilliant. They twinkled by the hundreds, maybe even thousands, in the shadowy tree tops. It felt like each tree was part of a merry festival and I was an outsider allowed to watch but not join in because I lacked the necessary body part to party with them. I didn’t mind. I felt like I was in a fairyland, mesmerized by a magical show of pretty white lights sparkling like stars against the night sky. To top it off, all of this was accompanied by the peaceful croaking of night frogs, deep and soulful, nature’s musicians for the enchanting light show going on above them.

There’s something about stepping away from our man-made contraptions and entering the naked world of Mother Earth. I seem to return to my basic nature. Stepping into the night, I felt immediately at peace. It was just me and Mother Nature, nothing in-between. It felt comfortable and familiar. I could breathe easy again. The quiet of the night filled me up and enveloped me like a cozy cocoon. The fireflies and frogs were like icing on the cake, breathtaking and soothing at the same time. It felt simple and real.

Simple and real. If only we could keep all things simple and real. We live in a complicated world. Our lives have become so complex and full of this and that and what not and everything in-between. We don’t know if we’re coming or going, staying or leaving. Everything and everyone wants and needs our attention now, tomorrow, yesterday. We’re moving so fast through our lives, we forget to breathe. We forget who we are.

I know that my sanity hinges on stopping and slowing down the hectic pace of my body and especially my mind. If I don’t find some quiet time to just sit or close my eyes in silence and breathe, even if it’s only for 5 minutes, I start to feel very unsettled and out-of-sorts. I begin to lose myself and I become more reactive to people and situations versus thoughtful and conscientious. In other words, I begin to turn into an ugly monster. My family can testify to this.  

Being in Mother Nature always brings me back to who I am. All it takes is stopping and paying attention.  Look around, really see and breathe in, close your eyes and feel, touch with your mind fully present. I guarantee you’ll soon feel your heart smiling. It’s smiling because you’re in touch with who you are again. You’re back home and there’s nothing better than that feeling of peace in your soul.  Bring on the fireflies and frogs. Let the party begin…

BECOMING

Sometimes we wander our whole lives

Wondering who we are.

Growing up thinking we’re someone,

Realizing later we aren’t

That person anymore…

Or never was.

We’re constantly shedding

Our old identities

For new ones, better ones,

Wiser ones,

Happier ones.

We confuse ourselves with multiple identities

And travel paths of continuous renewal

Without even being aware of how

We’re metamorphosing more deeply

Into whom we want to be.

Succumb to the journey.

Grow your soul.

You are becoming.  

LEARNING FROM TREES

Today is a glorious day. The sky is clear, the sun is bright, a cool little breeze is blowing, and birds are singing everywhere. My neighborhood is filled with peace all because of beautiful Mother Nature. I feel more alive and vibrant on days like today. It’s as if the peace I feel outside my body is transformed into a liquidy balm of sweetness that oozes into every corner of my body and being.

I’m sitting on my front porch, reading and writing. People and creatures are going about their daily business. Bees are busy buzzing, little white butterflies are twittering about, and it’s so calm and peaceful even Dale, our resident chipmunk, has come to visit, sunning himself on our top step.

Towering above our neighborhood are giant white oak trees, standing twice as tall as our homes. I’ve always loved trees. I used to live in a pecan orchard amongst rows and rows of graceful pecan trees. Since then, I’ve come to view all trees as silent guardians, always present, day in and day out, no matter what conditions are like outside. They possess a majesty and in their silence, an air of mystery.

Sometimes, when all seems calm and quiet here close to the ground, you can hear a swishing and rustling of leaves seeming to come from far away. Looking up, you realize it’s the topmost branches of the oaks catching the wind in their part of the sky, dancing and swaying in ever expansive and graceful ripples. Their rhythm is beautiful to watch and soothing to listen to.

Marveling at the plethora of trees and blooming flowers around me, I’m reminded once again of something I read a long time ago. I can’t remember the exact words, but the message went something like this: “Look at that beautiful daisy; it cares not about the beautiful rose growing next to it. See that young pine tree; it cares not about the tall oak standing next to it. They cower not in self-comparison to their neighbor. They grow steady and strong, only eager and concerned with who they are and need to be, knowing there will never grow another daisy like itself, nor another pine like itself.”  

When I’m experiencing a bout of self-doubt, I think about this passage. Trees and flowers grow because they must, without giving thought to their neighbor. They don’t stunt themselves into growing less, into being less, because of who’s growing next to them. They grow proudly into who they’re meant to be. They stand tall and grow tall to show off their own unique beauty, to join together with their tall and flowering neighbors as a gift to the world.

I think about them and try to follow their example. I know, you’re saying they’re only trees and flowers with no minds of their own, who grow because of instinct. Yes, yes, that’s probably true, but give them credit for displaying a stoic spirit and strength of character…just by being who they are. Plus, haven’t you heard of plants growing better when spoken kindly and lovingly to? Just ask Prince Charles. (But seriously, it’s true.)

Trees, flowers, all plants for that matter, surely have a spirit all their own. They show us how to be ourselves, to grow into who we’re meant to be and not worry about comparing ourselves to anyone else. We’re all unique. There’s no one else like you or me. We could all learn from a tree.